Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Sickness of Sin

Children are a blessing and I've learned a great deal about how God sees me (one of the reasons I look at marriage much differently now). I don't believe that I really understood until my precious daughter was born. Just this week, she came down with a cold. I couldn't help but think that God must feel similar to the way that I feel with my sick daughter. Except I think He doesn't suffer so much from the hopeless factor.

Likely the theologians will think me way off base, and others borderline blasphemy. But is it possible that the Lord feels this bit of helpless sadness? You give humans the precious gift of free-will and we constantly use it poorly. Making us sick with sin. Like a helpless parent, God watches as us, his children, continue to wallow. Sure some of us stray off the path but we don't ever forget the map so to speak. We pick ourselves up, turn around and try again.

I find myself looking at this precious child and instantly want to keep her in a plastic bubble. I don't know that I could have ever allowed for free-will. That's a love I don't understand. I'm a bit of a control freak. You can add this to the list of things that I want to understand when I come into heaven. That and the whole dinosaur thing.

So we get sick with sin. In my old faith tradition, I need only ask for forgiveness in the comfort of my closet and it was given. Now for many this works. For me it always seemed to be lacking. Especially in those circumstances when I couldn't begin to forgive myself. In those instances, and I still have them today, that lingering guilt hangs. That's one of the things I'm looking forward to with my first reconciliation -- that forgiveness and accountability.

I realize that I could take that sacrament, but I'm waiting on the results of my annulment. Still, I'm surprising looking forward to the process. I have a lot of sin sicknesses that I'm looking to start treatment for so to speak.  There are many Catechumen that won't partake in the sacrament. That seems really weird to me. Sure there is the public pronouncement but that seemed to me like taking a home-brew fix for something that only takes a simple shot to fix. Perhaps I'll feel different afterwards but I doubt it.

So if you have a sin sickness, seek God and repent! Truly offer it up to God. He's given us the sacrament of reconciliation as a tool to help heal ourselves. Stop, drop, pray. Then get yourself to confession and hold your healing accountable.